Day 22

Holy Smokes! Day 22 already.  Today, will be in two parts. Part I will be about self-sabotage and part II, equally important, about creating self-confidence.

Why is it that so many people believe that they are victims of the dreaded “self-sabotage”? You hear so frequently about how people start to get in the groove and things are going well, when all of a sudden, they are late for an appointment, or they leave important papers at home or they can’t find their car keys.  It MUST be self-sabotage, isn’t it?

Tony mentions that instead of self-sabotage, the culprits could simply be that we’re not paying attention,  or that we have poor habits,  lack of focus, or unclear goals. We have to realize that our brain is always trying to benefit us in some way, whether conscious or unconscious.

An example of self-sabotage might be if you consistently pull back right before you’re about to have your greatest success. Yet this is not about your brain trying to cause pain. It may actually be trying to protect you from succeeding so that you won’t end up feeling rejected. Keep in mind that the fear is probably not based in reality, but in perception, or perhaps it came from an old situation where success did cause pain.

Part of what we’ve learned in this program is that whenever you are in a heightened emotional state – whether positive or negative, events that happen or words that are spoken around you  tend to have far more impact. Your brain is “on your side” and has good intent to protect you. However, it needs to be conditioned to being more effective.

When we begin to sabotage ourselves, we have mixed neuro-associations. That is, the same outcome will have both pain and pleasure associated with it. For example, some individuals have been in painful intimate relationships. They desire to have intimacy, love and connection, and so they begin to move towards the relationship. However, at some point, they start to pull back because of the pain of the past and the fear of rejection in this new relationship.

Your Assignment:

1).  Write down any tendencies you’ve noticed about sabotaging yourself.

2).  Recognize that you can Feel Good because your brain is trying to help you to gain pleasure and avoid pain.

3).   Find leverage to make a change.  In other words, write down the pain it will cost you (and is costing you) to NOT make the desired change. Write down the benefits you will achieve by making the change.

4).   Use the “erasure technique” to scratch up your old patterns and create light-hearted ones. You can accomplish this by running the memory in your mind, at a distance; backwards and forwards, very quickly, with the participants in funny costumes, with funny hats, noses, etc.

5).   Take your time and practice the new patterns until they are conditioned responses. Feel the pleasure as you rehearse for your new success.

It really can be that simple. I hope you find good results as we continue towards the end of this program.

Onward.

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Filed under: Tony Robbins

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